I've been fighting some frustration and bitterness lately. The homeless lady I've been allowing to stay temporarily in my house doesn't seem to have any personal motivation to help herself and I guess would be perfectly happy to stay at my house forever.
I keep telling myself this is an opportunity to show God's mercy but I feel like a failure -between irritation at my inhospitable thoughts and at the opposite pole - irritation at my lack of assertiveness.
What should be a win-win gift from God, the blessing of using my house to do his bidding, I have turned into a loose-loose. Please no pity; it just makes me feel guilty. I am merely venting. I so do love the Lord and want to make him smile.
Next is the overwhelming amount left to do on the house and the $$$ it is going to cost. I am tired of being cold until I can get the mechanical units replaced -And while I am cold I still have high utility bills with the gas fireplace (but how happy I am to have it) and electric blankets.
Goodness I sound so negative today -but really I feel wonderful. Guess a few things have been simmering and hit a quick boil. Time to turn off the burner! It is dreary, cold and wet but my heart is lighter than it has been in a while. My radio is blaring and I am singing in my usual off-key way. Joyful noise and all, you know. Life is beautiful!
I keep wondering how I can use my art in a glorifying way. Giving to good causes of course, but what about just by creating and bring small bits of joy in to the world? I know the happiness that I get from creating is in itself a glorifying thing. Creating is an activity in the image of my maker - and Oh how he delights in the beautiful and even the just plain weird. Think of the insect kingdom -talk about bazaar. Obvious God has one way out sense of humor!
Back from my meeting; rezoning accomplished. Yeah and while a little over on the parking time -no ticket (knock on wood) I've stopped by Guido's restaurant (so so good) and while I was planning on a little soup to take the chill off; they have a shrimp special today. Mmmm... my mouth is watering. Go to go. Time for some good eats!
Music for my Madness: Fleet Foxes (Whole Album on YouTube -I love this band!)