I am trying to get everything together for the Peter Anderson Arts and Crafts Festival in Ocean Springs first part of November. I still have lots to do and with Dad in the hospital, jury duty, work ...ie life, it is a bit overwhelming. The biggest item I have left is to purchase a tent. I’ve been waiting on payday but I’m a touch nervous on timing. I could just let it all go (except obviously the tent) as I have lots of paintings to offer but I really want it to feel abundant and cohesive with something to purchase at lots of price points. I want it to grab your attention then entice you to come in and fall in love with a special piece.
I am wrestling with insecurities when it comes to being an artist but you know right now I really like my art. Sometimes I get too much inside my own head - Is it too kitschy and crafty? Is it ok to sell fun little ornaments and cards as well as more serious canvases?
I want to evolve and experiment but to also have my own style which is uniquely me. Individual and distinctive. I want it to come organically and not be contrived or forced. I want painting to be fun and joyful because if it isn’t then why bother. Really. There are so many useful things I should be doing. It is my guilty pleasure. Yes, sometimes I do at times feel guilty about the time I spend in my studio. But it is my escape... my dream world... my playground. The outside world with all its pressures and expectations just disappear. I am happy. My art is my happy place.
There is this strange paradox. I create for myself but desire the validation of others wanting my work. I feel like a mom taking her daughter to kindergarten (or maybe Jr. High -even scarier) for the first time. So hoping the other children will like her and befriend her. So hoping she’ll find her niche and be accepted.
Well, we will see. Go little artwork, get out there. Have wings. You can do it.
So with fingers crossed and paint in my hair, I say Farewell for now :)
(Prayers for my beloved Dad, Carey would be greatly appreciated: Pray that the doctors would figure out what is the root to his problems, that is would be treatable/curable, that the doctors would come up with a plan for treatment, and that he would be healed. Thanks)