Ponderings and Observations

Detail from my Painting "Outside the Gilded Cage"

It is late Friday afternoon. "Good Friday" actually.  The light is starting to golden, making everything glisten and soften.  A gentle breeze dances across the sea oats and you can catch a subtle perfumed whiff of wisteria mixed in with the slightly salty scent of the bay.

The birds are loud and constant in their chattering, especially the seagulls as they try to out do one another.  There are all sorts of dogs, little, big, prissy, curious, aloof, prancing along the path along with kids, some in strollers, some on bikes, many running just outside their parent's reach giggling and swirling.  A wedding party rehearses.  A well dressed family poses for a portrait.  A couple lays out a picnic. A pair of elderly men sit quietly on a bench staring into the horizon. A tan tattooed young man throws a net from the pier.  A group of fit 30 somethings jog up and down the stairs in cute little shorts and brightly colored tanks.  A trio of teens gather cells phones in hand.  I could go on and on.... Vignettes of life are everywhere.

I feel like I am a part of an ever-changing painting.  It reminds me of the musical "Sunday in Park with George"  inspired by the painting by Georges Seurat. I feel like an observer, a sponge. I am a part of it all yet not.  Everything needs to be tasted and tested.  I wonder what the next moment will look like.  My eyes feel like a camera... click, click, click... capturing the subtle differences second by second.  Each insignificant alone but together a story.  It is the very ordinary particulars which make art -paintings, movies, poems, music universal, don't you think?  Generalities don't touch us like specifics.

"Outside the Gilded Cage"

It takes the deeply personal to connect and evoke emotion.  The vague overalls fail to spark passion or awe or fear.  Cancer, hunger, war is bad - true enough statements but until it is narrowed down to an individual, we can ignore their implications. Why are certain commercials so successful?  Why do certain songs transport us? I am hearing the voices of Jennifer Nettles, Carly Simon, Alana Morissette in my head.  Music paints pictures as vividly as brushes.  I think that why I like to include a YouTube link with my posts.  They give a glimpse into my mood at that instant. Our preferences and desires are tiny imperfect reflections of who we are -a single tile in the mosaic of our being. And don't we all want somewhere deep inside to be understood?  Even if we say we don't.  Even if we are scared to completely expose ourselves, we give out clues hoping, even if we don't realize it at the time, they will be noticed.

I want to try and read those around me more accurately.  Try and give encouragement to my fellow earthwalkers.  We live here connected by our humanity and frailty on this precious blue ball.  We all need love.  We all need grace.  We all need connection.  I want to make a difference.  I want to share and give.  I desire to desire less selfishly.  To love more wholly and more holy -even when I don't really want to at that particular moment!

Music: Alana Morissette's Ironic

This photo I took from the bench I am seated at as I write up this post.  What a beautiful evening!