Quite a day... I finally got a chance to paint a little. Here is the result, "Hold Tight to Home." An emotionally charged bit of fluff. Whew! Sometimes I know why I create a particular piece other times it reveals its self as I go or even days later. This one started with a sketch I did almost a year ago. I have no idea in which sketchbook but it has haunted me and I knew eventually it would become more. As I was sketching yesterday it reappeared slightly altered but very similar.
You see, Pete and I helped pack up and move out the lady who has been staying at my house. It was a very hard decision for me as her situation is so sad. I dropped her off at her sister's house knowing that they will be taking her somewhere else, probably the salvation army. I am releasing her into God's care. I know he can bring the right people in to her life, give her hope and motivation. My job is now to just continue to keep her and her family in my prayers. But it certainly reminds me how blessed I am to have been born into my family. I know that they love me know matter what and will always be there for me. It is not perfect. We make mistakes and don't always agree or understand each other's pointe of view but there is respect and most important LOVE beneath the most irritating bickering or harshest criticism. Home represents family -the relationships that define us -not just the roof, walls and floors of the place we reside.
But boy, our physical residence, there can be something very connected to our heart with in the bricks and mortar part of our house. I saw a billboard along highway 98 yesterday; it said "I don't want to lose my house" with the face of a woman next to the words. It played to my heartstrings. Our home should be our safe haven and when we can't count on it, we feel disconnected and fearful. I know. I have a very mixed relationship with my own home. It is big and beautiful. We took it from a tiny rundown dirt floored junkie inhabited mess in a great location to a truly person reflection of our own aesthetic. A warm inviting quirky piece of art. But it has taken a toll. It has quite the gluttonous appetite. We spent more than we should on additions and renovations and it needs costly and time consuming care. It has more hours of blood sweat and tears than I can count as we did much of the work ourselves. And like a typical mother I have many more unrealized dreams for it. It certainly has its own story -no, more its more like a novel... a comedy, a tragedy, and inspiration. You see, I love my house. It has been an idol and I have wrestled to release it from my greedy little hands. I continue the battle.
Then there is a final aspect to home which my painting represents. This plays particularly in to its title, "Holding Tight to Home." It is our desire to hold on to the things of this world even when we know a more perfect eternal one awaits. It is like hoarding a molding stale piece of bread when a palace has its doors open wide with a magnificent spread laid out on the dining room table; the aroma wafting through the doorway but we must give up the bread to go inside, crumble it between our fingers and let it become substance for the birds and 'coons for we are made for more satisfying morsels.
This last meaning is the most poignant as I write this little post. My Dad's illness makes a day where he can be brought in to the living room an accomplishment. It is hard to know the will of God. His mind is too "beyond" for me to grasp. He is the great healer and I pray for Dad's recovery. I pray for Mom's comfort and encouragement. I pray for my discernment and guidance. Each day here on earth is a blessing and has a purpose.
I was at my Dad's bedside last night and during his bedtime prayers he said, "I know you (God) have a reason for my every day. I am here for your purpose, for what you would use me to be." I was reminded that we see only the backside of eternity's tapestry and each day is another stitch whether yellow, beige, or black and necessary to the whole. God will open our hand and gentle take the old bread and guide us in to his home for the feast when it is the perfect moment and not a moment too soon or a moment too late. I must TRUST his perfect timing for my Dad, for me, and for my children.
Heavy thoughts for such a little piece of art -huh? Thanks for joining me and have an amazingly artful day!
Gratitude Shout out for the Day: Sherry -Thank you for your thoughtful email -It was exactly what I needed.
I encourage you today to think on the Truth (it will set you free), Let your mind dwell (rest) in whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, anything worthy of praise....and the God of peace shall be with you!!! (PHIL. 4)
Quote for the Day: "Art is the Only way to run away without leaving home." -
Twyla Tharp
Song of the Day:
"Like a Prayer" -Madonna
